Right Here
by allwaswell23
Summary: Takes place a week after Ron's return in DH.  Hermione is struggling with the hurt Ron left her with.  Ron wants nothing more than to help her heal.  SLIGHTLY au but follows character cannon.
1. Chapter 1

I know he can hear me crying despite my best attempts to keep myself quiet. He's called my name a few times but I'm still too hurt to feel he deserves a response from me. I'm not sure what's come over me. The first few nights after Ron's return, I fell asleep grinning like crazy, although I didn't let him know. He didn't deserve that satisfaction. While in front of him I maintained that I was angry and nothing, _nothing_ he could do or say would fix it until I was ready to forgive him. Maybe now the initial shock has worn off and all I have left is the hurt that's got me crumpled under my blankets, trying to steady my breathing. Or maybe I'm just finally ready to forgive him.

But I keep seeing that look on his face. I keep hearing him accusing me of choosing Harry over him. He looked so disgusted. His voice was completely heartbroken. That moment was haunting me today. Ron made a joke early that had Harry in stitches. I hadn't seen Harry laugh once while Ron was gone and it did me good to watch him smile. I'll admit the joke _was_ funny. My mouth may have turned up a bit at Harry's laughter. But that memory, that awful memory of Ron's face as he left…it flashed in my mind and kept me from laughing. Ron can't possibly understand how utterly unfair this is. When he left he took so much of me with him and I'm scared to death that I won't be willing to let him give it back.

"Mione? Please answer me."

His voice is the only sound I hear over the steady drum of the rain on our tent. I roll my eyes and wipe at them harshly. Doesn't he get the hint? I do not want to talk to him. No, wait. That's not true. I want to talk to him, to _really_ talk to him. But he doesn't deserve it. I know he doesn't deserve it and the thought makes me cry harder. I can't help it.

Suddenly he's here. I feel his weight pressing down on the cot and his hand unsure on my arm. He's scared to death of me. I can feel his fingers shaking as they attempt to sooth me. Not to mention that he's given me more compliments and agreed with me on every dispute since his return. It seems he'd give anything for my forgiveness. My first thought is to throw his hand off me and insist he goes back to his own cot. But he's trying so hard…

I turn onto my back and pull the covers down to my waist, reluctantly opening up. I know I must look pathetic and weak but I try my best to hold defiance in my eyes. His, on the other hand, carry a crippling amount of regret and I immediately want to take him into my arms and try and sooth _him_.

"What is it?" he asks and I wish I had the attitude in me to laugh at his preposterous question.

Instead, I sigh dramatically and once again wipe at my tears. Not wanting to feel swayed by his wonderful blue eyes, I look away. "I don't know if I can…"

Without hesitation he responds, "Trust me, Hermione, whatever you want to say…if it could lead to a chance that you'll forgive me then I'm ready for it." His eyes are so sincere it scares me to think how quickly I might forgive him. Listening to him, something is telling me that he needs to hear me out as much as I need to say it. "Please?" he adds.

My eyes snap back to his to see if his gaze holds as much conviction as his words. They do. He really means it. Somewhere in my heart, at that moment, I'm sure that he's suffering as much as I am. I nod, trying to decide how to begin. Sitting up, I tuck my feet underneath me, once again looking away. "Well, obviously I'm still upset with you," I manage to squeak out. Out of the corner of my eye I see his red hair disappear into his hands. Is he frustrated with me for being angry with him, or struggling with anger toward himself? I look back at him as he lifts his head from his hands and my breath hitches when I see his glistening eyes. Will he cry? I don't know if I can get anything accomplished while watching Ron Weasley cry. It'd be the end of me.

For good measure I take his hand in mine and continue, "I'm glad you're back, Ron…I am. I know I was outwardly enraged at you but, if I'm being honest, the moment you walked back through that tent was the happiest moment of my life. It was like a dream."

I could feel my anger rising back up. "But while you were gone I tried forcing myself to accept that I might not ever see you again. Do you know what that's like? I'm still scared you're a dream. And when I think of you leaving, which _I do…a lot_…just so you know… I get so…my heart just…breaks." I'm sobbing now. Harry, sitting just outside the tent on watch, must be able to hear me. I pluck my wand from under my pillow and cast a silencing charm. Ron's face looks evermore anxious.

"Mione, I…"

"And it wasn't bad enough that you left me. The things you said, the way you looked at me. You can't undo those things, Ron. I see them every time I close my eyes. I see them every time I want to smile, and then I feel the hurt all over again."

That did it. I look up and find the tears have begun down his cheeks. He makes no noise as he swats them away. My body feels wrong sitting here, doing nothing as he cries in front of me.

"I'm sorry." His voice is hardly a whisper but his words cut into me. His eyes burst through mine and he looks as if he's about to crumble. His body language mimics the way I felt all those nights; pathetic and alone. All I wanted during that time was for him to appear and hug me.

With that thought I expanded my arms and enveloped him into me. I may have suffered all those nights without him but something inside me refuses to sit by as he struggles. Love. A wave of realization rushes over me and I'm sure I'm madly in love with Ron. I've liked him for years now, hoping he could maybe return the feeling someday. Then, over the last year I realized how severe a situation we were getting into and I've done my best to completely ignore my urge to tell him how I feel, for Harry's sake. How unfair it would be for Harry, forced to give up Ginny for the sake of our quest, to watch as Ron and I begin a relationship.

For the first few seconds Ron doesn't move, clearly shocked at our embrace. Then, without warning he is hugging me back and we are both crying. It takes him about a minute to get himself together enough to talk.

"Hermione, I'm not sure what to say to make it all better. I'm not good with stuff like that. Bloody hell, I don't think anything I could say is worth enough."

He places his hands on my arms and nervously rubs his thumbs along my wrists. "You have to understand that the locket…"

I felt it surge up, my anger exploded at the mention of the locket. I shook of his hands and stood, my blanket pooling onto the floor. "The locket?" I laugh harshly. "You know, I find it interesting that you think the damn locket only affected you!"

"No, that's not it. I…"

"I'll have you know, Ronald Weasley, that when I wore the locket I felt like hell too! I felt angry and hopeless and, thanks to you, I sat around for weeks completely sure that I was unwanted!"

Whatever words were planning to escape his mouth were quickly erased by my comments. But it doesn't matter. He needs to hear this if he really wants to make this right. He wipes at his eyes once more and it gives me a bout of satisfaction.

"I know, Hermione. I know. I'm so sorry. I…"

"Harry didn't know _what_ to do with me, not that there was anything he _could_ do! Not only did we not have you, but you turned me into this useless, crying mess!" Something calmed inside me. Had I finished? Perhaps it was one of the last walls left to come down.

Not quite. I know what the last wall is, and it _can't_ come down. Not yet, at least. I love him and he has to know, but I still can't do that to Harry. If _he_ has to sacrifice then so do we, right? "Do you get that, Ron? Do you understand what you did to me?" I ask quietly.

He stands tall, his eyes red and puffy but filled with conviction and fear. "Hermione, I'm in love with you."


	2. Chapter 2

"Hermione, I'm in love with you."

His words hang in the air and echo in my ears. Suddenly I can hear my heartbeat as clearly as I hear Ron's voice. We stand silent and my mind stumbles around his words a million times before he speaks again. "I wanted to tell you ages ago, at Bill's wedding but…but I just didn't think it was right… because of Harry and Ginny. Does that make sense? God, I hope that makes sense." His eyes never left mine, waiting for any type of response.

A tiny laugh escapes me. My mind is screaming to tell him that it makes perfect sense. I look at him and see his emotional struggle playing across his face. He takes a few steps toward me. He wants to hug me. I can tell by his halting steps. But he's still scared I will tell him off, scared that any wrong movement or word will send me running away from him. If this confession had occurred at Bill's wedding or anytime before last month, I would be running into his arms. But I make no move to welcome him closer because somehow his confession leaves me feeling even more hurt. He loves me and he still left me? I had to know. "Really? You're in love with me? Then how, Ron? How could you leave me?"

He exhales deeply and slowly, as if bracing himself for an admission. I feel myself holding my breath. "The locket told me things, things I was already thinking. I'm an idiot, Hermione." He drops his hands against his sides in defeat. "I've liked you for…ages and then bloody Viktor Krum wanted you too and it killed me. I knew I couldn't compete with him. He's so famous and just _insanely_ rich. I felt like I shouldn't even try because…well, you deserve someone like that, Mione, someone who can give you everything.

Then Ginny told me he kissed you and I lost it. That's the reason I snogged Lavender so much. I wasn't into her, and I feel awful about it but I was immature and jealous." He ran his hands roughly through his hair, something I knew he did when he was unbelievably nervous. "I know the locket is no excuse but it made me so sure that you wanted to be with Harry instead of me. I can't blame you of course and something that night told me I shouldn't fight for you because you deserve a great guy like Harry, not some pathetic wanker like me. Why _would_ anyone want to be with me when Harry Potter is right there?" He motioned sadly to the front of the tent.

I had heard enough and took a step toward him, pointing a finger into his chest. "So you felt like you weren't good enough for me? Is that it? Guess what? I will decide who is good enough for me, Ron, not you! And regardless, you still shouldn't have left me, you know! You should have told me the truth, maybe asked me how_ I_ felt about you! Did you even think of that, Ron?"

"Yeahhh…but I was scared to death of what you'd say. I still am actually."

"Well, you're back to where you started then, aren't you? Except now you've walked out on me and I have to live with the fear that you might do it again." I feel a tear flee and Ron lifts his hand to wipe it away. Instinctively, I tear my face away from his hand and turn to walk away from him, my frustration overwhelming me. Before I can escape the tent I feel his hand on my elbow, pulling me back with such force I lose my balance and crash into his chest. I don't have time to respond. I feel the weight of his lips crashing into mine and my thoughts become clouded by the sensation. I hear a squeal erupt from my throat. The weight of him presses against me so deeply I can feel his pulse. It's stunning. He's stunning, and I never want to stop kissing him.

Finally we pull away and he looks at me questioningly. When I don't slap him he feels it's safe to talk. "Hermione, all I can say is that I wasn't in my right mind when I left. It's no excuse, I know… and I bloody _hate_ myself for doing it." We're inches apart. I can feel his breath rustling my hair. His thumb is lightly massaging my cheek. "But I would die before ever leaving you again, and I mean it. Please know that. I don't deserve your forgiveness and I don't expect it, but you had to know the truth and I had to tell you how I…really feel about you."

I feel the smile emerging as my anger melts away. Damn him. There's no use fighting it and I feel it grow into a grin. "You're really in love with me?"

He doesn't smile back, though. He still looks terrified, like he's standing at the edge of a cliff just waiting for the moment when a strong wind would send him over. "I love you, Hermione. And, I bloody hope you feel something for me…"

In a single moment of pure indulgence I decide the wall be dammed; it's coming down. I bring my lips up to his, kissing him with all of the passion, frustration, and love I've felt for him over the years. It feels bloody fantastic and nothing can pull me away …until I see Harry and Ginny flash in my mind. Reluctantly I pull back and looked sadly into his eyes.

"Hermione?" He sounds terrified.

I throw my arms around his neck and hug him so tightly I'm sure he's having trouble breathing. "I love you too, Ron. I love you so much and I've wanted to tell you..." I'm smiling and laughing and crying all at the same time. His shoulders slump in relief and I feel his shaky hands rubbing up and down my back. I plant a few tender kisses on his neck.

When he speaks again we are still hugging and his voice is powerful against my ear. "I want to be with you. I'll _fight _to be with you, I don't care what famous, rich bloke comes along next. If You-Know-Who himself were after you, I'd protect you. I want to be the one to make things right with you…if you'll let me."

His words melt my insides and I'd give anything to push him back onto my cot and kiss him until the sun rises. "I want all those things, Ron. I want to be with you but…" But I know it can't be right now. I pull back and look sadly into his face and prepare to tell him what I'm pretty sure he already knows. "I can't." His eyes sink and I can literally see his heart breaking. I decide to rephrase, "_we_ can't. You said that you didn't tell me how you felt at Bill's wedding because it wouldn't be fair to Harry. It still isn't fair. We would be starting this in front of him and he doesn't deserve to..."

"To see us happy?"

"No! To feel sad, or left out, any more so than he already does."

Ron's eyes infiltrate mine momentarily. He seems to be weighing all our reasoning. "You're right. God dammit, you're right." He sighs in defeat and pulls me close. I feel his chin resting on my hair.

"But I do love you…and I want to be with you, when all of this is over." I add in a strong voice.

"I love you too and I promise as soon as this thing is finished I'm going to show you exactly how much."

I smile at the thought. That thought alone will get me through as many months or years it takes to defeat Voldemort. That thought is the reason I'm fighting this war. That thought will fuel all my focus toward bring the Dark Lord down.

"Harry can't know." I say, even though something tells me Harry _already_ knows. I feel my tears brewing up again. I'm elated but feel completely caged in. My voice wavers as I speak. "We have to promise to wait, no matter how long it takes. We wait until this is done. When I lift the silencing charm we are back to just being friends, alright?"

My tears are flowing now and even Ron lets a few escape. I know his next words are meant to comfort himself as much as me. "It will be worth it, Hermione." I nod into his hands, which are now cradling my face. "I promise you it will be worth the wait."

I reach for my wand, about to lift my perfectly casted charm when Ron grabs my arm to still my wrist. "One more for the road?" He asks, flashing his lopsided grin that has forever weakened my knees. I smile back and he kisses me tenderly. Within seconds I feel his tongue enter my mouth and begin to dance with my own. I'm moaning and I'm sure this moment is perfect.

It's over too soon.

He pulls back from the kiss and offers me a strong, encouraging nod. He releases my wrist and I effortlessly lift the charm. Turning back to my cot, Ron lifts my blankets up, motioning me to crawl under them, which I do.

He carefully tucks the blankets all around me and pushes a few stray curls from my face. "I'll be right here if you need me." He offers, and something inside tells me that statement will forever ring true for Ron and I.

I smile. Now is the time where I should close my eyes and attempt to sleep but I can't seem to make them shut. Instead I watch Ron cross the room to our little bookshelf and open our copy of 'Tales of Beetle the Bard'. I'm not sure how long we will be on this quest, but as I watch Ron read with more purpose than I've ever witnessed from him, I have a feeling our next big break is just around the corner.


End file.
